so many mixed emotions right now... i felt like i was on such a roll, finally startin to get my self together in the last few days i stayed in the states.. that i would be able to come back and continue going at that rate, but who was i kidding? none of it was me, none of that diligence was me. you cant even call it diligen e. and now that im back to where i left off, i feel so imbalanced, something is terribly off, and im trying to resume what god had so graciously given me in those last few days of my visit. that seeming taste of working towards my success efficiently, one after another without stopping to take a breath, the exhiliration. but now im back, and ive become haughty because i felt so exhiliratingly like i was finally runnind towarss success, and i didnt want anything in the way, but it was foolish to think in such a way, because that precious little taste that god had given me... he's snatched it away. no, no no no no no no, it is absolutely certain that ive simply opened my eyes to the simple reality of my utter and inarguable mental incapability. there are too. many. thoughts forming a pathetic useless clusterfuck and everything especially my own pathetic stupidity is just pissing me the fuck off.
just FUCK.ME. I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS PATHETIC HOLLOW SHELL AND EXCUSE OF A HUMAN BEING HE CALLS HIS PRECIOUS DAUGHTER. ARGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I AM A FUCKING WASTE OF SPACE UGHHHH KWNDNKWKWJDJDKSIDJDKKD.
End. Fucking. Rant. Let my pmsing do the apologizing if anyone uselessly takes offense, but actually, I'd rather just say, gtfo then.
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