This feeling shudders me, frightens me, infuriates me to the core, and I seem unable to shake it. When friends start to seemingly distance themselves, seemingly with intention, and seemingly avoid your confrontation. The situation leaves me with a slight distaste on my tongue, and more than anything, anyone, I blame my puerile and annoyingly, consistently, dependent personality for having caused, for causing, the slow and seeming disappearance of these people I had once so relied on, so seemingly knew. Then again, seeming marks every seeming step companions seemingly take with intention to erase their once seeming existence.
Paranoid? Or do these conclusions simply put those in perspective.
I'm afraid. I don't want to lose people. I don't want friends to walk away from my life cold turkey. Seemingly. I love these friends. I love them to death, and their seeming abandonment aligns with having my emotions torn, mind boggled, with a beggar aimlessly digging and picking for crumbs amid cobblestone walkways, with searching for water in a draught, like having my heart ripped out and carelessly thrown into the depths of some indiscriminate river.
Thrown away.
I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. -John 13:15
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